There is a Spanish branch (o rama español; congregation for spanish speakers) at the building at which I attend church, and so to try to get used to hearing el Evangelio en español, I've been going and sitting in on the Sacrament meeting (just the general meeting with everybody where we partake of bread and water in similitude of the last supper and listen to people from the congregation speak on various subjects as assigned by church leaders). I've come a long way from the first time I sat in on their meeting, but I usually only have a general idea of what exactly is going on, and that's only if I'm really concentrating on the person and what they're saying. I really enjoy going- it's giving me a good taste of what's to come, and I just enjoy situations where I get to have a jab at using what little bit of Spanish I know (delivering pizzas a las personas que hablan español es muy bueno :D).
Anywhoo today was a pretty normal day at church and so following my gringo meetings, I went and took my seat towards the back, ready to just get out of it what I could. I was pretty sleepy from staying out a little later socializing (and such socializing opportunities have been somewhat seldom throughout this summer, so I was game for a little loss of sleep. Sorry about that unintentional alliteration :T), and so I wasn't as focused as I could've been and so consequently, when President Samuels (the leader of the congregation) stood after the two members of the branch gave their talks (or sermons, whatever you'd like to call them) I didn't quite follow all that he was saying. I knew that he commended the speakers for their words, but from there I just kind of went on to thinking about some of my plans for this upcoming week and about getting home and eating and possibly sleeping and all that hooplah. And then I kind of noticed him looking at me and then he said my name and I could tell he was saying some things about me serving a mission and how I was going to be going to New York and speaking Spanish and I then I pretty much got out of it that I was to come forward and share my testimony of the truths that I had come to know throughout my life. I've heard and experienced just a little bit that one of the hardest parts of learning a language is gaining confidence in speaking that language to president others, and so as you can imagine, I felt under qualified for such a task, to say the least. When I got up to the stand, President Samuels said something along the lines of "You probably have no idea what I asked you to do, huh?" And so I at least said, "You want me to bear my testimony, right?" After he gave the affirmative I started in. It wasn't elaborate of course. I kind of wasn't sure of what to say, so I kind of stopped for a little while after which President Samuels told me I could say some stuff in English and have him translate, so I did, but I still just was not sure what to say. I kind of wrapped up what few things I did say and then ended it with a "yo digo estas palabras en el nombre de Jesucristo, amen." and then took my seat again.
I still have no idea what motivated President Samuels call on me like that (my best guess would be that he noticed me dosing during the first speakers remarks -___-), or how exactly I fit into the rest of the meeting. Whatever the case may be, it was an interesting experience, one that kind of left me excited to get to the work, but one that kind of knocked me upside the head and made me realize how much I have to learn and how it is going to be quite the undertaking to learn an entirely new language and sort of a general culture that goes behind it. It brought to mind the promise that when you open your mouth it will be filled (Doctrine and Covenants 33:8-11). I've heard various stories from different people about such a promise being true in regards to languages, and although I didn't open my mouth and bare the most beautiful testimony the world had ever heard, I still have faith that such will happen. Thinking about it, it was miraculous in and of itself that I had received the preparation necessary to at least introduce myself, explain my situation and share a simple testimony of the things that are so deeply rooted in me. It's a start. And what's better is that I know that as I put my faith in God, Spanish will come and I will eventually be able to speak my mind perfectly, and with the guidance of the Holy Ghost, I'll be able to come up with the words that the truth deserves.
Essentially, this experience just led back to a topic that I've thought about more and more frequently- that Heavenly Father ALWAYS fulfills His promises that He makes with His children. I've been gaining a stronger testimony of this fact, and as a missionary, having a testimony of God being beyond dependable on every aspect of His being seems like it'd be very important. I might even say essential. There are so many promises made to missionaries, from blessings for sacrifice to success in the work to receiving direction in all matters from the Holy Ghost, and it seems like if you don't have faith in any of those promises, you really don't have the right mindset or motivation for serving. In my most recent reading of the Book of Mormon, I was able to see the promises of the Lord fulfilled and phrases such as "...according to his word..." really stuck out to me. In addition, reading in the Old Testament about the promises that God makes with His servants and in the deliverance of the Hebrew people from the land of Egypt, it's extremely clear that God does follow through, every single time. That's just one of the many aspects that makes Him whole and perfect.
Along with that, though, comes the necessity of patience in waiting for fulfillment of His promises and realizing that waiting is only for your benefit. I believe that one of the most common reasons of individuals falling away from truth is from demanding on gratification on a personal time scale, not on God's time scale. This all ties in to the fact that a lot of people either don't realize or don't want to face the fact that suffering in all sorts of trial and affliction is not from any sort of apathy from God, but actually stems from His love for us and for His desire for us to learn and grow. It might seem counterintuitive that such a loving God would let His children suffer, but after some deeper thinking, it all kind of fits together. Can an athlete honestly build muscle and become better without suffering the pain of a rigorous workout? Or if a parent were able to shield a child from every pain or negative experience, would that child be able to survive even a minute in the real work? We don't always understand the pain in the moment, and often times it doesn't become any clearer after the fact. What's important to understand is that God transcends all understanding at times, and that in the end His whole purpose is to "bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39) He doesn't put anything in our path that's not to help us get back to Him.
I've found that as I've had learned to trust in Him and in His greater planning abilities and have had faith in the promises He makes, I've been able to develop an attitude that helps me to get through all the challenges that have come up in my life and help me to come out on top. I am not at all suggesting that I know how to handle things perfectly. I still lose this eternal perspective from time to time and get caught up in the moment and mess up. But I get back up after I fall and I keep trying. I'll share an ongoing story that kind of ties things together nicely.
As I went about the school year, I had planned to just come home over the summer, get a job easily (I had stuff planned out and back ups for that plan and back ups for the back up and so on and so forth) and then just work my booty to be able to pay for the opportunity to serve a mission. Well things didn't work out that smoothly- I sent out probably like fifteen emails to people from church asking about work opportunities, I probably turned in twenty plus applications, I even had three interviews, but I went for well over a month without a single job offer. In the meantime, I had the opportunity to go through the temple, and in the Celestial Room, the room where you really do feel closer to God, I expressed in prayer my pains and frustrations in not being able to find a job. I then got an impression, certainly through the Holy Ghost, that I was indeed going to get a job and that things would work out well because of the righteous desires of my heart (to save up all of the money made on the job for a mission). I trusted in that promise and continued in my efforts of finding a job. It wasn't until the beginning of June that I actually got my job at Domino's. So why did it take so long? I'm not entirely sure, but I think during my search for a job I learned a lot about how to self discipline myself on nearly a month and a half of completely unstructured days, I learned a lot of valuable skills pertaining to job hunting and I was able to get some good language and Gospel studying in. I'm sure I'll continue to see the fruits that came out of that period of time as I keep living life. On top of that, when tips aren't the best and my schedule isn't what I'd prefer, Heavenly Father lets me know that it'll get better. And on top of that, I've been blessed to help out with a project at the house of my friends that has brought me up to working about fifty hours a week, and so I've been able to make enough money to get me where I need to be. And just the whole timing of things has worked out perfectly in that my stinky work schedule allowed me to put in a lot of time into this other project right when it needed it, and now that the rush is over for that project, I really like my work schedule for Domino's. I could just keep on going with all the little tender mercies, but I feel like I've blabbered on for far too long now...
In the end it all just works out too nicely to be just coincidence. God has a plan and and makes promises all along the way. He fulfills our righteous desires in His own ways, often times requiring patience on out part and understanding the fact that His means of doing things are often not understandable in the moment. I know that serving a mission isn't going to be a pain free, super easy experience. It's going to be almost a constant struggle, but I've learned that just being consistent with the little things- prayer, scripture study, etc.- with faith and understanding that God's promises will be fulfilled, things work out just as their supposed to. From being able to speak from the pulpit in Spanish to gaining eternal life, it's all possible because God loves us and is providing the best for us. I know that to be true. So keep on chugging along!
"For I will fulfill my promises which I have made unto the children of men, that I will do unto them while they are in the flesh-" 2 Nephi 10:17
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